HELLO PEOPLE!!

Okay, basically, I am splitting up today’s post into two, the second part
will be in another new post. So first part: Why I broke down and cried during
recess? — I am really gonna spill blood and gore onto this post, so please
don’t mind — I just got to get everything out.. The second post will DEFINITELY
be much happier, I promise (:

The answer is: I don’t know okay.. Its just too emotional at that time during
recess and that nothing goes along with me. I am not really angry and upset that
you guys were using my markers for doodling on the board. I am upset that 2E4
are not really serious about EVERYTHING.

All I remembered is that:
1) I was writing alphabets on the musical scores
2) Then Bhalaji asked me to borrow my phone — need to call his mom.
3) I was already having some problem with the marker — people taking it and
using it for some crap purposes.
4) I slammed my phone on the table, Bhalaji went like w0ahh and asked me why I
slammed my phone on the table.
5) I got really emotional and upset about the class.
6) I picked up the phone again and crashed it on the floor I can remember that
the back cover and the batter is separated in the phone..
7) Bhalaji asked me what is wrong: “This is not the usual me,” he said..
8) Somewhere, Poh Yee, helped me to write out my musical scores.
9) I thanked her, but tears about this whole anger thing has already started.
10) Put my head down on the table. Clenched my fist so hard like there is no
tomorrow
11) People went o.o — Why is he crying
12) Grab my water bottle and drown myself it it. Finished the water in that
NEWater bottle in within 5 big gulps and spilling over my shirt and pants..
13) Some people went over to comfort me*
14) And everything kinda went back to normal. I just don’t know what happened.
But I was still red and puffy during Geography

I snapped 6 pictures, of some things that makes me upset about the class:


Broken chair: I was warned by the OM to take care of the furniture in class, but if more people just don’t listen and continue breaking, well, not my fault alr.


Please, just whack some more at the papers, or even destroy the whole board. Some people worked so hard just to beautify the board. Don’t you feel proud of their efforts? or would you rather not have decorations at all? How about you decorate the board and I whack it until everything is destroyed? How do you feel?


Litters: A relatively huge foolscap cardboard on the floor. I am not upset about this, there is more around the class, but I just can’t bear to show more..


A little bit vandalized announcement board..

zoomed in picture for what I’m targeting: Planning class outing. This is something that I really hate. When announcement is written in text form on the board, some will change it, or make fun of it. People get the wrong idea/information, then blame me, then teacher also target me for giving wrong information


Okay, last picture: this is really something called not appreciating one’s work. This one of the most upsetting thing that I am having feeling over now. I’ve been tidying it over FUCKING tons and tons of times.. Yet, still got messed up by the end of the day.

Other things that I am upset about:

- Duty roster: I went back to class after music. Ran with only socks on, but with shoes off. I just don’t care about anything else. I cleaned the class, arranged the table and chairs. I will talk to the class about the duty roster.

I have to really remind everyone to do roster. Some just dashed out and don’t
care what I am talking.

Only a few people do roster.

I am just asking you to do 4 simple things:
1) Close the windows
2) Erase the whiteboard
3) Sweep the floor
4) Arrange the tables and chairs
— 8 or 9 people per day: will make the job done faster in within 5 ~ 10 minutes right? And all the chores there are one of the most basic things. I don’t ask you to wipe the windows with a piece of damn cloth, etc..

- Strangers (Non 2E4-eans) entering the class during recess: I really HATE to say this. Just don’t fucking invite them in can? Please for my sake? If they destroy anything, we will really be in trouble. The reason that I don’t lock the classroom during recess, is that I trust you guys to take care of the class. We are 2E4-eans. As a class, we need to have trust among each other. But once stranger enters, it will be a total different feeling — Its like a guest enters your house and goes to your room, intruding your personal spaces. What if someone lost their belongings? Who will be responsible? I know 2E4-eans will not steal, but should we put the blame on the strangers?

—–

* I really want to thank people comforted me just now. Some asked me to go to
toilet but I don’t want to because of the fact that I don’t want to be seen
crying by other classes and that I am really not in the mood to further mess up
my face. I would like to thank people who comforted me, both during recess and
after school.

I was comforted by:
— Ahmad Fuad: thanks for asking me repeatedly again and again whether I am okay or not
— Bhalaji: Yup, thanks for telling me that this is not the usual me, I am really knocked over by that word.
— Mitchell: Thanks for patting my shoulder again and again
— Jezebel: Thanks for bugging me to go to toilet, but I am okay
— Hui Ting: Thanks for just standing there and asking why I was
— Josephine for approaching me after school when I was cleaning the class by myself. I’m Sorry that I ignored her when she approached me after school when I am cleaning the class today by myself,. I was not angry with her, I was still upset about the whole thing
— Poh Yee for writing alphabets on my music scores (: Although its only 2 bars I am very very grateful xD — I won’t erase, I promise (:
— Mayer, who comforted me after school. talked about class matters and whatnots. I really want to thank me for giving suggestions and agreeing to some of my points of dissatisfaction
—– there are more people, but I don’t really know who they are. I was facing down and didn’t bothered to look at you guys. So here I am expressing my thanks in this post. So I’m sorry if I left any of you guys..

After school, Poh Yee sms-ed me: “Ehh.. You okay now? Why you cry just now ? Mental breakdown ?”
Mental breakdown (also known as nervous breakdown or snapping) is a non-medical term used to describe a sudden, acute attack of mental illness such as depression or anxiety — Wikipedia
– Yeap, I think that is more like it. Suffering from a mild depression, but I am not sure how to check if I have it, or maybe not. I hope these craps just clears up by next week.

I am a normal person. I am also a student. I don’t paid to clean up the class. I am also a human too. As a monitor, I don’t need you to bow down to me, worship me, give me presents, etc. I just need you to co-operate with me. I have feelings too, just like you people. I am tired of all these things, I just want my rest — what’s so wrong with that?

t0ddles, -jMax;